He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
