I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
