Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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