You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
