Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  Your an asshole

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Actually, it's "you're an asshole"

  (954): View more from Florida

  My point exactly

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  (954): Your an asshole (1-954): Actually, it's "you're an asshole" (954): My point exactly http://tfl.nu/txzi
  Replies (47) Good night (3655) Bad night (879)
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  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

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  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (302) Good night (102927) Bad night (6442)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone

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  (480): There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone http://tfl.nu/wpdv
  Replies (38) Good night (775) Bad night (1884)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....

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  (269): i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn.... http://tfl.nu/s1xw
  Replies (20) Good night (780) Bad night (5421)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's shedding

  (1-912): View more from Georgia

  I told you penises don't tan

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  (912): It's shedding (1-912): I told you penises don't tan http://tfl.nu/7fx9
  Replies (43) Good night (1530) Bad night (10363)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.

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  (843): Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean. http://tfl.nu/s35t
  Replies (9) Good night (4770) Bad night (1189)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..

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  (920): False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over.. http://tfl.nu/vzuj
  Replies (6) Good night (1146) Bad night (2179)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?

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  (203): We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right? http://tfl.nu/13y7
  Replies (9) Good night (1482) Bad night (712)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.

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  (802): I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms. http://tfl.nu/3zhe
  Replies (9) Good night (573) Bad night (1913)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.

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  (770): He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons. http://tfl.nu/t6wz
  Replies (9) Good night (640) Bad night (1039)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...

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  (301): The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ... http://tfl.nu/xsvz
  Replies (16) Good night (667) Bad night (2194)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!

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  (803): I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score! http://tfl.nu/zwep
  Replies (2) Good night (443) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year

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  (253): I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year http://tfl.nu/c4bo
  Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night

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  (860): Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night http://tfl.nu/cju1
  Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!

  (425): View more from Washington

  Just 2. But still.

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  (425): Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?! (425): Just 2. But still. http://tfl.nu/bmdt
  Replies (2) Good night (736) Bad night (261)

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