Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.

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(917): She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun. http://tfl.nu/sejn

Replies (23) Good night (2987) Bad night (921)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.

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(603): My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state. http://tfl.nu/6i4f

Replies (43) Good night (5438) Bad night (1883)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.

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(412): Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets. http://tfl.nu/agl3

Replies (48) Good night (1248) Bad night (4436)
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(305): View more from Florida

I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.

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(305): I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry. http://tfl.nu/el5m

Replies (65) Good night (1112) Bad night (4688)
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(310): View more from California

so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?

(818): View more from California

by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ

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(310): so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA? (818): by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ http://tfl.nu/5i2r

Replies (43) Good night (14356) Bad night (1323)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.

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(717): i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it. http://tfl.nu/e8nk

Replies (2) Good night (2170) Bad night (808)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.

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(847): I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it. http://tfl.nu/yf92

Replies (28) Good night (1741) Bad night (744)
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(330): View more from Ohio

It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.

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(330): It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop. http://tfl.nu/5ysk

Replies (11) Good night (781) Bad night (1671)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.

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(202): Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation. http://tfl.nu/g1cn

Replies (9) Good night (1195) Bad night (674)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.

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(913): I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point. http://tfl.nu/9lwl

Replies (3) Good night (1644) Bad night (713)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?

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(615): Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport? http://tfl.nu/4yvq

Replies (8) Good night (914) Bad night (464)
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(209): View more from California

I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.

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(209): I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/o4b3

Replies (5) Good night (1132) Bad night (444)
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(540): View more from Virginia

There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.

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(540): There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong. http://tfl.nu/f8bz

Replies (1) Good night (966) Bad night (351)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?

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(773): Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT? http://tfl.nu/k7sq

Replies (8) Good night (740) Bad night (450)
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(212): View more from New York

I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.

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(212): I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island. http://tfl.nu/ts3w

Replies (6) Good night (560) Bad night (307)

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