I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.