She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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