Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"

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  (562): trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander" http://tfl.nu/pjq1
  Replies (20) Good night (3355) Bad night (742)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"

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  (301): Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal" http://tfl.nu/5b46
  Replies (48) Good night (3975) Bad night (747)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Does God suck his dick?

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  (270): He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God." (1-270): Does God suck his dick? http://tfl.nu/w42a
  Replies (105) Good night (1275) Bad night (5765)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...

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  (913): you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast... http://tfl.nu/eo63
  Replies (9) Good night (5159) Bad night (807)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness

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  (480): I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness http://tfl.nu/10ex
  Replies (5) Good night (5009) Bad night (738)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much

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  (248): today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much http://tfl.nu/3dmn
  Replies (26) Good night (10453) Bad night (1101)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day

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  (989): I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day http://tfl.nu/4uqd
  Replies (11) Good night (2054) Bad night (4679)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.

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  (203): You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/n1s3
  Replies (13) Good night (5734) Bad night (1090)
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  (510): View more from California

  EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!

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  (510): EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT! http://tfl.nu/n28b
  Replies (22) Good night (1751) Bad night (5954)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.

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  (303): high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me. http://tfl.nu/bsmu
  Replies (8) Good night (2551) Bad night (958)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too

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  (608): The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too http://tfl.nu/q1xa
  Replies (4) Good night (1295) Bad night (1722)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.

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  (615): Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight. http://tfl.nu/ami0
  Replies (22) Good night (4049) Bad night (1727)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.

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  (402): I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives. http://tfl.nu/3h74
  Replies (6) Good night (1520) Bad night (447)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.

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  (724): You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great. http://tfl.nu/7v6n
  Replies (5) Good night (673) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl

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  (520): my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl http://tfl.nu/kolr
  Replies (3) Good night (1080) Bad night (275)

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