Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.