Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable

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(586): the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable http://tfl.nu/6hw3

Replies (32) Good night (1201) Bad night (1849)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less

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(908): i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less http://tfl.nu/aust

Replies (35) Good night (6387) Bad night (540)
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(815): View more from Illinois

So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)

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(815): So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:) http://tfl.nu/dc1v

Replies (6) Good night (4895) Bad night (1007)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.

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(859): Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things. http://tfl.nu/chhw

Replies (6) Good night (3574) Bad night (955)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted

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(610): Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/q55a

Replies (11) Good night (5657) Bad night (2541)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.

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(902): So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge. http://tfl.nu/p9n1

Replies (5) Good night (981) Bad night (2204)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.

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(814): This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left. http://tfl.nu/p749

Replies (8) Good night (2791) Bad night (887)
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(813): View more from Florida

peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week

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(813): peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week http://tfl.nu/lvga

Replies (9) Good night (2373) Bad night (1241)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?

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(814): Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects? http://tfl.nu/389h

Replies (35) Good night (2352) Bad night (862)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.

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(309): Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls. http://tfl.nu/n0fo

Replies (7) Good night (2405) Bad night (1019)
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(239): View more from Florida

im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.

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(239): im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me. http://tfl.nu/81g0

Replies (12) Good night (1940) Bad night (970)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.

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(507): So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver. http://tfl.nu/b2sj

Replies (3) Good night (1272) Bad night (669)
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(480): View more from Arizona

We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."

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(480): We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor." http://tfl.nu/95x9

Replies (4) Good night (3234) Bad night (575)
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(912): View more from Georgia

Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....

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(912): Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time.... http://tfl.nu/fwcj

Replies (11) Good night (2061) Bad night (423)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.

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(319): I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls. http://tfl.nu/wkuc

Replies (3) Good night (453) Bad night (756)

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