$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.