Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
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Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside