I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's not a walk of shame if you run