She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
