why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
