PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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