chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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