Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
