I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
All I want is dick and wine.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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