Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
