what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
