Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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