Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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