Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
