I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
