finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize