i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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