Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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