lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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