yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
