I bet he comes in French.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
did you just send me my own nude
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
