I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
