omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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