i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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