he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize