you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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