Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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