Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
