My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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