His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
