I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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