He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
