While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
