i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
