my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
