dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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