he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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