Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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