the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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