im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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