One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
