I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
