Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
