well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I think my moral compass just broke
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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