DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
