Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(563): View more from Iowa

I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(563): I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever. http://tfl.nu/ydd6

Replies (20) Good night (988) Bad night (4518)
Favorite
(256): View more from Alabama

I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(256): I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light. http://tfl.nu/687c

Replies (21) Good night (810) Bad night (3600)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile http://tfl.nu/o0hq

Replies (26) Good night (3982) Bad night (973)
Favorite
(818): View more from California

you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me http://tfl.nu/nn6b

Replies (28) Good night (11657) Bad night (1173)
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap. http://tfl.nu/9a2a

Replies (25) Good night (4397) Bad night (1486)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up. http://tfl.nu/ttp7

Replies (14) Good night (5528) Bad night (1614)
Favorite
(501): View more from Arkansas

we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(501): we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american" http://tfl.nu/1xh1

Replies (26) Good night (7907) Bad night (1029)
Favorite
(573): View more from Missouri

On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(573): On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower. http://tfl.nu/pdns

Replies (3) Good night (2020) Bad night (748)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?

(312): View more from Illinois

I get to be your mom.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth? (312): I get to be your mom. http://tfl.nu/nmh7

Replies (11) Good night (3704) Bad night (1322)
Favorite
(973): View more from New Jersey

They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(973): They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!" http://tfl.nu/oehu

Replies (4) Good night (1591) Bad night (476)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out. http://tfl.nu/vb1r

Replies (3) Good night (1159) Bad night (885)
Favorite
(908): View more from New Jersey

I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(908): I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows http://tfl.nu/eaw6

Replies (5) Good night (1635) Bad night (482)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.

(1-360): View more from Washington

I'm puking in a turkey pan....

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal. (1-360): I'm puking in a turkey pan.... http://tfl.nu/y4jv

Replies (6) Good night (1096) Bad night (398)
Favorite
(907): View more from Alaska

I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(907): I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex. http://tfl.nu/29kt

Replies (11) Good night (595) Bad night (909)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester. http://tfl.nu/4ngv

Replies (1) Good night (1020) Bad night (229)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: