what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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