Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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