4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you traded sex for a burrito?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
