So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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