ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
