I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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