Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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