gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
3 2 1 whiskey
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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