his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
porn star boner night. come get it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
