my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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