When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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