Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
