it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
