how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
