Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
