I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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