Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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