apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
