Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
