3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
